The Sex Positive Coach

Inara de Luna, Relationship Coach & Sexuality Educator


My relationship advice articles for the LGBT Relationship Network

Posted by on September 18, 2014 at 5:45 PM

I've been a regular contributor to the for several months now. This note will be a list of all those articles and I will update as new ones are published.


Orientation vs Behavior vs Identity: Labeling Bisexuals

EXCERPT: In light of the March 20 article in the New York Times, “The Scientific Quest to Prove Bisexuality Exists,” I feel compelled to address the topic of orientation vs behavior vs identity and labeling bisexuals. Bisexuals, especially, can identify with the differences associated with these different concepts, but they often get muddy for others whether straight, gay or lesbian.


Can Bisexuals Really Be Monogamous?

EXCERPT: One of the myths that bisexuals hear a lot is this belief that since a bisexual person is attracted to both genders, they must be unable to be in relationship with just one person, because then they wouldn’t be getting all their needs met. This can be a difficult myth to overcome and can get in the way of a bisexual forming a lasting relationship with a monosexual person, who may wonder and worry about this for the duration of the relationship.


The Freedom to Marry…and Divorce

EXCERPT: Do You Marry a Person or Their Genitals? In considering my own upcoming nuptials, I find myself reflecting a lot on marriage, commitment, and vows, as well as shifting roles and identities...My decision to marry this man does not make me any less of a bisexual. I am choosing a person, not changing my identity. However, this arrangement does contribute to bisexual invisibility and bi-erasure, which bothers me.


 The Healthy Purpose of Jealousy

EXCERPT: The Potential for Jealousy is Doubled for Bisexuals -- Bisexuality is often invisible because the problems bisexual people face are often identical to those faced by everyone, regardless of sexual orientation. Bisexuals are, before anything else, people and they each have their own quirks and things that make them unique from other people and other bisexuals. One of the things that many people have to deal with regardless of sexual orientation or relationship status is jealousy. This is one of those universally troubling issues that I see often in my office. However, while many couples try to eliminate the chance of jealousy by restricting their partners from having opposite-gender friends, for a bisexual, anyone of either/any gender is a potential target of attraction. So let’s dive into an understanding of jealousy and how to deal with it.


Who Wears the Pants? How to Respond with Grace & Positivity

EXCERPT: People who are openly bisexual and marry a same-gender partner sometimes have even more challenges in this area because they are liable to get questions not only from their straight friends and families, but also from their lesbian and gay friends. When someone is asking a question out of a genuine lack of understanding, they are hoping for a helpful answer. If what they get instead is blasted for their insensitivity, they are likely to stop asking questions and instead develop a more negative attitude toward the group in question. I know, it can be hard trying to distinguish between a hateful jab and a clueless poke, especially if you’ve endured malicious remarks previously. Following is a several step process for responding to someone from a more mindful place.

Categories: LGB/Queer

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